Hunter
by The Opal Jade
Summary: Buffy s thoughts about....well....herself...


Hunter

_With one light on in one room, I know you re up when I get home._

_With one small step upon the stair, I know your look when I get there._

I m not just any girl. I am so much more.

I am Buffy, the vampire slayer. I am the one that gives everything up, doesn t have a warm home with a loving family inside just because everyone else should have atleast that.

Sometimes it s strange.

I ask myself what s the game?

What is it gonna take?

I am Buffy, the vampire slayer.

I am warm and full of love. I love with my whole soul, it s blinding. That s me.

I have super powers. I don t like books. I don t like school. I don t like responcobility. I don t like men, they steal your heart and leave with it, take it far away…

I have **superpowers**.

That s me. 

**Buffy**.

_If you were a king up there on your throne, would you be wise enough to let me go_

I am not ordinary. I don t want to be ordinary.

Then…..I would be helpless.

_For this queen you think you own_

I am the strong, powerful hand of light and bright.

I am Buffy, the vampire slayer. I blind with my love. I have friends.

Death is my gift that I got and opened it like a little girl on Christmas.

But they took it away, forced me back here. My friends. They don t understand. I don t want to be alive. 

I just want to die. 

_Wants to be a hunter again, wants to see the world alone again,_

_To take a chance on life again, so let me go_

But I can t do that, people are relying on me again.  They all need me. This world needs me a little bit more than the other one.

I am Buffy, the vampire slayer.

The title sounds great, it s powerful. It makes me feel good. Makes me want to hunt. Kill.

I have good friends. I think. 

They re okay. It s not their fault. 

For doing the wrong things, for never really listening when I was out there screaming. 

Dawn isn t really my sister. She s the helpless litlle version of me. I died for her. she s the only one that ever did anything right for me. 

Giles is gone. He left.

Spike is gone. He left.

Angel left.

Riley left.

Dad left.

Mom left.

_The unread book and painful look, the tv s on, the sound is down_

_one long pause, then you begin, oh look what the cat s brought in_

Who are you? 

I don t know you. 

You are not the same ones, you re not the ones I once knew.

Go away. There must be place. For me. I don t have enough place. 

I ve told you this so many times before like I m telling you now, I ve been repeating it over and over again for my whole life to every single one of them but they never really heared me, thought I was some anoying little bug, thought that with time I ll go away or just simply die. 

I am Buffy. The vampire slayer.

Buffy buffybufyfy buffybuiffybujikfffyyybbuuufffyy buffx buffy buffy bufyfyfygf bu ffy bufyf buffy bufyfffybuffybufyffybuffybugffyfy buffy buffyfbnufffxy buffy

It sounds wrong. Buffy isn t something pink and cudly, it s my name. 

Buffy, the vampire slayer.

And i am full of love that blinds. I am powerful, full of strenght, I can win against the odds. I am a winner.

I am a hunter. I am a girl. I am a slayer. I am human.

I am your only hope. 

I m not pink or cudly. I m not a fury little creature.

I am strong.

I am Buffy.

_Let me go, let me leave_

I m not putting up with it no more.

I am the slayer. I am the one who draws the line. 

_For the crown you ve placed upon my head feels too heavy now_

_And I don t know what to say to you, but I ll smile anyhow_

That s what I do.

I am a killer.

No! Wait! What am I saying?

I am Buffy. A slayer, **not** a killer. There is a difference. A slayer slays. A killer kills. 

I am a slayer.

I am Buffy. 

_And all the time I m thinking, thinking…_

I ve had enough.

I am Buffy. I love with all my soul, I love. I m not empty, I m full.

And I m strong, well trained, experienced. I can kick your ass any time. 

I am the one that draws the line. 

_I want to be a hunter again, want to see the world alone again_

_To take a chance on life again_

_So let me go_


End file.
